Gaydar

Mine always seems to have sucked. I am most certainly not homophobic, more to the opposite, in fact. Two out of my three best friends are gay. I'm happy for them, but sometimes it sucks not having anyone completely understand where you're coming from. I have one friend who I constantly want to gush to, but I don't want to bore/annoy her.
How do you explain to your lesbian best friend why that boy makes you smile like nothing else? And how do you deal with a gay guy who keeps falling for only straight and/or taken guys? I love them, but it's hard. I feel like I get too wrapped up in their drama in an attempt to escape my own. Once I get there, though, it's too depressing! I don't want to know anymore.
Also, I'm excited that they're confident enough to be so open and proud! But it shouldn't feel like they're in an exclusive club, should it? It just gets so annoying sometimes, when they treat it like this thing that I'm not welcome in. I try to be as helpful and as understanding as I can, but I resent being sort of used when work is needed, then treated like an outsider when it's time to celebrate a victory.
Am I jealous?
Am I greedy?
Am I horribly shallow?

This is my life.